Re-Housing the Homeless
This morning, during a
rare hot spell, Nina was in the garden planting, tending and nurturing, as is
her wont. I was at the computer (as is my
wont) when I heard her scream at the top of her voice – ‘SHUT ALL THE
WINDOWS’. Well, as this is not the sort
of command that she would normally hurl at me in the middle of the morning, my
quick brain told me that something was amiss.
At the time I was unable to run due to a leg injury, so I hobbled to the
back door to see what the problem was.
On the way I was surprised to hear what sounded like a two-stroke
motorcycle doing about 30mph. I
actually got no further than the kitchen as I was now aware that the garden was
almost hidden from view by a massive cloud of bees. We were the proud recipients of a swarm. I had received a call last week from my
brother-in law in Kent to say that he had one in his garden. My immediate reaction was that it was very inconsiderate
of him to send them on to me.
Now I don’t know why they
should have chosen my garden to swarm in.
After all, the last thing I would ever think of doing would be to invade
their hive. I like to think that I have
a ‘live and let live’ ethos. It also
seemed that they were in no mood to be reasoned with, even if I had any idea
how one reasons with bees.
We decided that now was
the time to put to the test how much of our Council Tax could be utilised in
solving this particular housing problem.
EFDC were not interested. It would
appear that they do not have a policy covering homeless bees; it would seem
that the situation is only covered by the private sector. They were good enough, however, to give us
the name and telephone number of a local Beekeeper.
By this time the seething
mass had formed a swarm under our garden bench between the slats. Oh how I would have loved to invite Osama
bin Laden round and invited him into the garden! ‘Please – do sit on the bench and make yourself comfortable’. Could I possibly have done such a thing; of
course I could.
Mr Barker the beekeeper
arrived and informed me, after an inspection of the swarm that it consisted of
about 16,000 bees. This it would appear
is approximately 20% of a full hive.
Their old home had become overcrowded and as a result, this bunch had
taken the old queen with them and left a new one to hatch in 21 days in the old
hive. As far as I can recall, this is
the first time we have had an ‘Old Queen’ in our garden!
|
The
Swarm |
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I turned my back for about
two minutes and when I returned to the garden Mr Barker had vanished and in his
place was Neil Armstrong complete in his space suit and helmet! With one great step for mankind he was upon
the garden bench, lifted it and dropped it over a box he had prepared and in
fell about three-quarters of the swarm.
He then left the box with a small open slot at the bottom at one end and
I observed the amazing sight of the rest of the swarm walking into
their new temporary home. The spaceman
informed me that he called this the ‘March of the Mods’. He then left promising to return after
sunset to collect the box containing 16,000 new residents.

March of the Mods
I suppose that I should
feel proud to have played a part in such a humanitarian act, even if it did
cost me £30 for the privilege!
17 June 2002