Re-Housing the Homeless

 

This morning, during a rare hot spell, Nina was in the garden planting, tending and nurturing, as is her wont.  I was at the computer (as is my wont) when I heard her scream at the top of her voice – ‘SHUT ALL THE WINDOWS’.  Well, as this is not the sort of command that she would normally hurl at me in the middle of the morning, my quick brain told me that something was amiss.  At the time I was unable to run due to a leg injury, so I hobbled to the back door to see what the problem was.  On the way I was surprised to hear what sounded like a two-stroke motorcycle doing about 30mph.  I actually got no further than the kitchen as I was now aware that the garden was almost hidden from view by a massive cloud of bees.  We were the proud recipients of a swarm.  I had received a call last week from my brother-in law in Kent to say that he had one in his garden.  My immediate reaction was that it was very inconsiderate of him to send them on to me.

 

Now I don’t know why they should have chosen my garden to swarm in.  After all, the last thing I would ever think of doing would be to invade their hive.  I like to think that I have a ‘live and let live’ ethos.  It also seemed that they were in no mood to be reasoned with, even if I had any idea how one reasons with bees. 

 

We decided that now was the time to put to the test how much of our Council Tax could be utilised in solving this particular housing problem.  EFDC were not interested.  It would appear that they do not have a policy covering homeless bees; it would seem that the situation is only covered by the private sector.  They were good enough, however, to give us the name and telephone number of a local Beekeeper.

 

By this time the seething mass had formed a swarm under our garden bench between the slats.  Oh how I would have loved to invite Osama bin Laden round and invited him into the garden!  ‘Please – do sit on the bench and make yourself comfortable’.  Could I possibly have done such a thing; of course I could.

 

Mr Barker the beekeeper arrived and informed me, after an inspection of the swarm that it consisted of about 16,000 bees.  This it would appear is approximately 20% of a full hive.  Their old home had become overcrowded and as a result, this bunch had taken the old queen with them and left a new one to hatch in 21 days in the old hive.  As far as I can recall, this is the first time we have had an ‘Old Queen’ in our garden! 

 

The Swarm

 

                    ‘Neil  Armstrong’

I turned my back for about two minutes and when I returned to the garden Mr Barker had vanished and in his place was Neil Armstrong complete in his space suit and helmet!  With one great step for mankind he was upon the garden bench, lifted it and dropped it over a box he had prepared and in fell about three-quarters of the swarm.  He then left the box with a small open slot at the bottom at one end and I observed the amazing sight of the rest of the swarm walking into their new temporary home.  The spaceman informed me that he called this the ‘March of the Mods’.  He then left promising to return after sunset to collect the box containing 16,000 new residents.

 

 

                             

                                                 March of the Mods                           

I suppose that I should feel proud to have played a part in such a humanitarian act, even if it did cost me £30 for the privilege!

 

 

17 June 2002